Is your sex box in need of a boost? Were you discoing with the best when you bought your last dildo? Are you feeling a bit lacklustre sexually? Have you entered 2017 like a tour de force, and need the dildo to go with it? Or are you a dildo connoisseur and just adore being surrounded by the latest and greatest?
To appease the dildo Gods of 2017, I’ve put together this tantalising list of desirable dildos for you to ponder over, seek and try. I’ve picked five from my shop, The Slinky Minx, and five from various artisan brands, whom I adore, and want to share with the world.
There’s something here for everyone, from the elegant and slender, right through to the downright dirty and girthy. Enjoy possums!
Every time I see this I burst into ‘Gold Finger!‘ Just look at that opulence. Ambit by Godemiche will add luxury to your toy bag without the high price tag. All silicone, handmade, suction cap, it’s a great dildo to enrich your year.
3-2-1 Blast off! If you’ve the 2017 running, to keep up, you probably need the Crotch Rocket by Hole Punch Toys. Handmade, silicone, harness friendly, and just think of all the great puns you can use! Up she goes? Is that a rocket in your pants?… I’m going to take you out of this world?
If you’re pale like me, then The Vamp by Tantus is brilliant. Yes, I grant you it may have a slight feel of Team Vampire, but look at the gleaming, shafty goodness. It’s a simple, glittery dildo, perfect for Halloween. Or for all your other shiny, sexy time needs. Silicone, harness friendly, and did I mention, sparkly!
If you prefer less, girthier dildos, The Peg by Godemiche might just be what your alley, be it front or back, has been looking for. The Peg is petite, handmade, silicone, harness friendly and is just dying to penetrate the depths of your soul.
The Shilo by New York Toy Collective is close to my heart and in the top of my toy drawer. Bendy, bright, harness friendly, silicone, handmade, and can be used for packing too. Why hello, gender experimenting!
My oh, my! This is just lovely to look at, and to use, well, I’ve got one, and it’s divine! It pleases in all the right places, in all the right ways. Oh dear, my heart is a fluttering as I type. Swell by Funkit Toys designed impeccably. It’s a great size, handmade, harness friendly, and can be customed coloured. I can’t think of any puns for this, it’s just swell!
This reminds me of being at my favourite gelato shop, on a hot day, Sweat trickling down my back, and my lips quivering in anticipation, ready to lick the cool, creaminess of my pistachio gelati. It’s te same colour! And it will have you getting all hot, steamy, dreamy, and creamy using it. Handmade, body-safe ceramic and stamped with a smile, take the time to look at Ceramic Dildo 033 by Ceramic Pleasures.
This is pure joy to look at. If you have a fondness for smooth and elegant, then I don’t think you can go past Eros Grande by Crowned Jewels Limited. Dual ended, long, smooth and slick..sigh. If you’re in need of some royal treatment, then this is at the top of you dildo buying list.
Why ahoy there! Shiver your timbers this year with one of the many oceanic dildos found from Portholes. This is The Nereid, and gosh isn’t just precious? Handmade, harness friendly, and just quirky enough to get you through any hard times this year.
I had to put this in. Who doesn’t want to plunge themselves with a big arsed gherkin? Self Delve has German quality behind them and makes the most delicious dildos I’ve come across. The Gherkin, not your thing? That’s fine, hit up a carrot or corn, or even a chilli. Silicone, handmade, and perfect for hiding in your crisper.
Enjoy your dildo hunting possums and happy orgasms!
Narelle Minx x x x